DADY (Dining At The Oyster)

Its been months since my friend D has been serviced (Almost 24 months to be exact). Any longer and her pussy would be crying out loud for overhaul !! I reminded her about the severity of her draught (KEMARAU) situation when she spoke of a seemingly interested male prospect.

My dear friend did nothing but confronted her thoughts of endless possibilities of "IT" NOT happening. Despite her inhibitions, I do recall advising her to get a pack of magnums - just in case. D still insisted that in a 'no emergency situation' there was 'no need' for rubber.

I even joked about the size of her prospect's "banana" & that I should be informed of any incidences of "rain". In this case, politely referred to as "fruit juice". Despite being pessimistic, D rang me the next morning to share some juicy information.

Apparently, her old daring self had re-surfaced (after 24 dormant mths). She was caught in a tight situation. Mr Prospect was gonna catch an early morning flight the very next day. They had dinner & she swore there were sparks flying across the dining table but still, nothing physical happened after. She had but one last chance to seal the deal & change her "weather forecast" or remain in "dry spirit" for endless time.

So sacrificing herself on the altar of dignity, D confessed her "lust" for Mr Prospect. Though I'm very sure she would have confused him with "love". Unfortunately for D, her dude was already attached & was adamant on remaining "faithfull" as he didn't wanna break a "promise".

Confused & feeling hurt, D could barely sleep that night thinking about her burning desire for him. She was after all was one very strong-headed girl who didn't accept rejection well. So the next morning, at 7am she gave it one last try - a simple phone call @ Saved by the Bell.

At his place, they locked lips. It seemed that Mr Prospect too had this burning passion for D. "The Promise" was his biggest obstacle. D knew that there had to be more 'climax' ahead than just french kissing. While kissing on the couch (in the hall), D complained that it was rather cramped & that they should get more "comfortable" on his bed.

He on the other hand was worried about keeping his "promise". If you were wondering what this 'Great' promise is all about. Oh well, he promised his beau then that he wouldn't have sex with anyone else while he was on holiday.

So D assured him that nothing would happen. She only wanted to kiss. So they proceeded from couch to "bed". Being an opportunist, D had her "way" of keeping to her side of her promise. She only "kissed" him but her "lip service" moved downside from his lips to his nipples, then to his navel & his upper groin. Then as she unbuckled his belt, looking at his agonized face she said: "I only wanted to kiss. Now would u like a blowjob?" Any sane male would have answered "YES". And then she laid her condition, "After me".

Hence, D got her vagina "Serviced" and Mr Prospect was a happy man. They both "came" & went. This is btw a reality story of "Leaving On A Jetplane". D hurried off to work after & Mr Prospect rushed to catch his flight.

My friend D had the cheek to text him saying that she could still "taste" him in her mouth.

She got what she wanted in the end. Everything but his "heart".

And a "promise" remains a "promise".

Twenty - SEXth (26) Birthday

Sept 8, a day to remember:
My girlfriend, Sag turned 26.

We celebrated her birthday over dinner in a nice cosy Punjabi restaurant. Many from Bangsar's Indian community frequent this place. Bumping into an Indian relative or friend comes as a mere common co-incidence.

Birthday Gifts: "The Enlightened Sex Manual" - Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover. (CD included with guided exercises) & Lacy Lingerie.

It was amusing to see how her gifts got her boyfriend more excited than her.
Her boyfriend bought her a sexy 2 piece & cleverly sent it to my address. This move avoided any possible misunderstandings arising from either party's parents.

Gift 1
The parcel was presented & opened over dinner.
Sag's other half was kept busy inspecting the undergarments under bright lights in the restaurant. I gave benefit of the doubt and presumed that he was just checking for defects.

Gift 2
This book got my pal's boyfriend all excited & eyes glued on the pages all night.
Besides, this sex bible & the set of sexy lingerie complemented each other.

As it is Indian tradition to keep your virginity intact till marriage. Hence, we'd understand the stress related - sexual deprivation which the guy is required to tolerate. Some (women) believe that it is a test of strength and endurance on their male counterparts.

This however, can be very trying for the couple.
A hint of Practical magic:
Rumour has it that "orals" and "the Brazillian" have become popular swallowtions (solutions) in pursuit of maintaining well- preserved vaginas.

Here's a sexual stress related example:
My cousin's husband was losing a substantial amount of hair (on his head) so they went to seek medical advise. Examination result: The GP claimed that this hair loss problem was due to "lack of sex". I'd advise my cousin sister to get a 2nd opinion.
If this was the real root to the problem, then how would it relate to the jungle mass of hair down under.
Unless he also suffers a receeding pubic line that is...

The wedding's still 2 months away, and I get the honour of storing her birthday gifts.
Well, patience certainly has its virtues as it is known that good comes to those who wait... :)

Good Vibrations...

I recall my girlfriend Eileen making this statement in particular during junior high: "Why do we need men for when we have our fingers to rely on!" Blunt but powerful. Masturbation is a completely normal thing among both men and women. Its just harder for women to admit.
And its hard to believe that till this day; even the closest of friends are still in denial.

I did myself a good deed upon graduating from Australia. Bought myself a vibrator to take back to my home country. (Saving this for rainy days since adult toys were hard to come by then)
Then, I did myself a selfless-deed and my good friend, "D" a favor: I gave her me precious vibrator.
Mind you, this toy isn't much to shout about. Just a simple plastic lady finger as they call it in Australia.
Regardless, I've never seen my friend happier....

I'd like to regard the act of masturbation as one of the "Simple Pleasures in Life".
And if one can't admit to enjoying the good vibrations it brings, then you've got a problem.
Another friend, Nat has recently admitted to receiving a purple vibrator as a gift from a friend.
However, she has difficulty self-confessing the use of this stimulating device.
My dear friend even cleverly suggests recycling this as a gift - in light of overshadowing the slightest possibilities of assisted self-stimulation.
It would have been nice to share the experience, especially since the picture of her new toy displayed on her blog looked rather fancy - it even has a remote!!
(Puzzling as the vibrator was displayed without a box in contrary towards denial of its usage)

The female species are known to have a myriad of days: Fat days, Ugly days, etc.. (Horny Days included).
Hence, a vibrator could have saved an emergency situation, avoided one-night stands or even sexual relapses with the unfaithful ex) Gets the job done most of the time.

'Have a habit of carrying an umbrella in case of a rainy day?'
-It'd be wise to include a vibrator on standby for a horny day.

If I were Nat, I'd be obsessing over my Japanese model. Its a perfect excuse if you ever get stopped by the cops....

Your excuse: Hands FREE Abang, Hands Free!!!

Sex

In today's generation, sex is supposedly an open topic.
There was a time when talking about sex was very much taboo.
Malaysian females in general still fear of being labelled. So yes, many of us do talk openly about sex but not self-admittingly.

Why? Again, the gender bias.

Men f**k around and TALK a whole lot of COCK about their bedroom achievements. (Just as if they'd been awarded a trophy for every woman they successfully slept with)

Women on the other hand prefer to keep mum or just talk less. They'd likely to be crowned "slut" other wise. If society got to know that is. And how the hell would such information leak have happened if the female didn't tell? Obviously someone wasn't very good at kept HIS big mouth shut!!

And a lot of men shallowly thrive on the numbers; attempting in vain to out-do the 'fictitious' achievements of their peers.
As incompetence is relatively unacceptable among the male gender, these specimens try very hard to live by the motto: "the more the merrier"
Pressured to outnumber, many choose the "+ plus equation". Commonly adding a bogus 3 to the actual figure.

Women prefer to keep low profile & tend to opt for the "- minus equation". See 5 minus 3 equals 2. Sound good?
Now what about 3 minus 3. Total = virgin? Sound ridiculous?

That's somewhat evidence that in methematics; men score better at addition & women at subtraction.

Now, that's just elementary maths. Rest assured that some overly-ambitious jokers who fancy double-digits are prone to exist. (aptly known as advanced level cock talkers)

There still is much room for improvement. After all, Malaysia is a developing country. Who knows, maybe one fine day we'll be as open as the Brits.
There is a saying that goes, "If COCK can talk, then PUSSY can sing!!". Now how about that for a change...

The Tampon Era

My girlfriend uses sanitary pads. Now, how stone-aged could that be? Be made aware that there are many obstinate women out there who still prefer their caves padded.

Now, could the usage of tampons define a girl's virginity or vice-versa? I'm in doubt. Then and again, my girlfriend would probably have had larger sized penetrations in comparison to a super-sized tampon.

D, a virgin friend of mine has sworn her life on tampons. She teaches yoga.

The irony of pads:

"A virgin who uses tampons and enjoys exercise" versus:

"The girlfriend (Virgin-X) who'd rather use pads and enjoys sexercise".

Is it possible that we (M'sian) women are being judged according to our drugstore purchases?

Eg; Kotex / Whisper - Virgin

O.B. / Playtex - Lost her virginity

And even if we were; would it really make us any more/less respectable?

Or, is this a trivial attempt to "re-virginize" ourselves? Now, who are we trying to kid...

Tampons are by far, one of the best creations by mankind, ever.

Its about freedom of expression. Confidence. And no worrying about leaks.

A girl can insert as many tampons as she wishes into her pussy in her lifetime without having to worry about being labelled a slut. (This, in contrary to the loyal pad user who sleeps around and has had a colorful array of dicks)

I remember my first tampax when I was 15 and I haven't turned back since...